A municipal proposal with feathers
Replace Cyclists With Geese
Geese understand routes, group travel, warning calls, and territorial limits. Regardless of your opinion of the birds, they are more predictable than cyclists. For example, they announce trouble before it reaches your ankle with a well-timed hiss. A bird that clear with its communication deserves a hearing from the public. This campaign is a civic petition to replace cyclists with geese on shared paths, sidewalks, and other public spaces.
HONK. Proceed.
PUBLIC NOTICE Shared paths remain under observation. Report all silent overtakes. HONK.
Public consent
Honk if you agree
Press the button to add one honk to the public record. The sound may startle you if your senses are particularly acute.
3,246 people have honked their agreement
The case
Why geese are better
Geese can be awful if you don't understand them. After all, they block paths, hiss at children (and sometimes inanimate objects), and stare at adults with real contempt. Nobody leaves a goose encounter wondering where the bird stood on the matter.
Bad cyclist encounters are harder to read though. You're walking along, minding your own business, and then out of nowhere a bicycle appears near your elbow. Honk. The bell almost always comes far too late, especially for young children who can't easily get out of the way. Then, if there is a collision, the person who clipped you (or nearly flattened you) explains shared infrastructure and the need for more bike lanes. The cyclist is always right, according to, well, themselves. The goose is not a cyclist.
The goose is not polite, sure. But that is part of the appeal. No goose claims moral superiority while cutting across the path. In other words, the goose is a more honest participant in shared public space. The goose is a better neighbour than the cyclist.
Public mandate
Sign the petition
I agree that geese are better neighbours than cyclists on paths, sidewalks, and disputed public space.
HONK before signing.
This petition stores no names and collects no email addresses. Isn't that refreshing?